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Families and Anger—
Additional Resources

Everyone gets angry. Basically, we get frustrated or we feel attacked...and we get angry. The anger is a signal that something is going on that we need to take care of now. It's a cue to put us into action. Just like traffic signals or road signs, anger helps us to get over the humps and around the roadblocks that are a part of everyday life. (Actually, if we take time to think of it--all feelings serve as a signal.)

The problem starts somewhere as we try to answer the question "OK, now I'm angry...what am I going to do about it?" Anger is a very individual feeling. Anger comes along at different times and for different reasons for everybody. Some people become silent, some yell, some people even hit when they're angry.

Others turn their anger into something else. One person might get headaches, get depressed, or just feel bad. You may have no idea why they feel that way, but regardless, they are angry. Some people just explode when they get mad. It's almost like they can't hold onto any more anger. They've reached their limit, and they explode. These people sometimes have a habit of blaming others for their anger and what they did when they exploded. Anger is best when it is used to make a change happen and nobody gets hurt.

Anger in a family can be like toppling dominoes. When one family member gets angry and topples, the rest of the family topples too. Each family member is affected somehow . . . feeling the impact of anger in their family . . . and they may even get hurt.

If everyone works to remember that anger is a signal, to remember that anger can hurt, and to make changes without hurt, then anger indeed can be a good thing.

Reading, Watching and Listening List

Consult your local library to find these resources:

Family Works in Action

Here are some anger-related strategies to keep in mind for building stronger families:

Encouragement

Remember...anger is okay, and it can even be a good thing. It's just a normal feeling that we all experience. We have positive and negative choices in each situation.

Keeping the other person in mind, learning from our mistakes, and working to make positive choices will help anger work for us—not against us.

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