URBANA, Ill. — Conflict in families can negatively affect individuals’ well-being and relationships. But what exactly do families today fight about, and is conflict in the home generally more severe between couples or between parents and children? A new study from the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign explores these topics, shedding light on important but often overlooked aspects of family dynamics.
“Many studies have documented the impact of conflict on family relationships, but most of those have looked at how the conflict is managed rather than what family members are discussing. We were interested in looking at areas of disagreement across multiple family relationship types,” said lead author Noah Larsen, a graduate student in the Department of Human Development and Family Studies, part of the College of Agricultural, Consumer and Environmental Sciences at Illinois.
The researchers surveyed a nationwide sample of 593 adults who were parenting at least one child between the ages of 4 and 17. Participants indicated the severity of various conflict topics in their couple relationship and with their children. Separate topic lists were created for couples, younger children (ages 4-12), and teenage children (ages 13–18).
For couples, the most severe conflict issue was communication, followed by mood and tempers, parenting, household chores, and money management. For parents and teenagers, household chores and untidy rooms were the most severe conflict topics, followed by technology and phone use. For parents and young kids, bedtime delays, obeying instructions, and picky eating were the top conflict areas.
The researchers note their results, particularly for couples, are consistent with common topics of conflict identified in decades of prior research.
“Think about how much relationships in our world have changed in the last 50 years, with massive cultural and technological shifts. Interestingly, despite all these changes, couples still seem to argue about the same things. This suggests there are some fundamental aspects for what it takes to make a romantic relationship last,” said co-author Allen Barton, Illinois Extension specialist and assistant professor in HDFS.
Read the full release from the College of ACES.
University of Illinois Extension develops educational programs, extends knowledge, and builds partnerships to support people, communities, and their environments as part of the state's land-grant institution. Extension serves as the leading public outreach effort for University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign and the College of Agricultural, Consumer and Environmental Sciences in all 102 Illinois counties through a network of 27 multi-county units and over 700 staff statewide. Extension’s mission is responsive to eight strategic priorities — community, economy, environment, food and agriculture, health, partnerships, technology and discovery, and workforce excellence — that are served through six program areas — 4-H youth development, agriculture and agribusiness, community and economic development, family and consumer science, integrated health disparities, and natural resources, environment, and energy.