You might be familiar with the inner critic, that not-so-nice voice in your head that can be critical and judgmental and tell us we are not enough. Everyone has an inner critic, even the most confident person you know.
The inner critic strives to keep an individual safe. It adheres to strict standards and norms, often suppressing one's authentic and genuine feelings, thoughts, and sensations, labeling them as "bad" or "wrong." It can be scolding, shaming, nit-picking, and fault-finding.
By looking at the inner critic through the lens of curiosity, we may find nuggets of wisdom, such as recognizing where we have gone wrong in a particular situation and what we need to do to make things right.
While we may not be able to prevent the inner critic from rearing its ugly head from time to time, the good news is that there are several strategies for building confidence and resistance when it does.
- Form a caring committee: Psychologist Rick Hanson describes this as an internal committee that is always there to provide support and wisdom even when things are stressful. You get to elect the members, who may be people you know or characters from your favorite movie, TV show, or book.
- Take a self-compassion break: Developed by one of the leaders in self-compassion research, Kristen Neff. This strategy walks you through the three components of self-compassion: mindfulness, common humanity, and kindness.
- Practice Ahimsa: Translated as "do no harm." Ahimsa is a concept at the core of yoga philosophy and practice. Ahimsa speaks to physical harm, as well as the subtler forms of violence, such as speaking words of unkindness to ourselves and others. In your practice of Ahimsa, you might practice reframing messages from the inner critic in the form of a positive affirmation. For example, instead of "I'm no good at this," try "This is challenging for me, but I know I can improve."
If you want to learn more about how your inner critic expresses itself, take some time to reflect and journal on the following questions:
- What things do you criticize yourself for?
- What words and tone of voice does your inner critic utilize?
- Can you thank your inner critic for their intentions?
About the Author
As a University of Illinois Extension Community Health Educator, Michele Crawford provides research-informed health education to individuals throughout their lifespan. In this role, Michele shares knowledge and resources to empower individuals to make healthy lifestyle choices. She is passionate about dissolving barriers in access to health information and resources.