Growing up, I had two distinctive impressions of pumpkin pie. Both of my grandmothers made homemade pies each year, but each was a different experience. One created a delectable homemade crust with a light, pumpkin filling. My grandma on the other side made a pie that was equally flavorful but heavily spiced, with a deep, rich color. Both were delicious in very different ways.
Looking back, these pie experiences remind me that while traditions may differ, it’s the memories and feelings they create that truly matter.
What Are Your Holiday Memories?
Is it the fall smells of a simmer pot on the stove? Turkey roasting in the oven? Or a pie cooling on a rack? Maybe it’s a treasured ornament or a favorite song that brings back a flood of memories.
Regardless of what form they take, holiday traditions are important. They help create a sense of closeness in families, especially during the holidays. These experiences offer a sense of identity and belonging across generations. They ground us in the past and help us find our place in the world and within our families.
Why Rituals Matter
According to research published in the Journal of Family Psychology, family routines and rituals help members gain a sense of belonging. This is especially meaningful now, as many people are struggling with social connection.
Traditions foster stability, closeness, and emotional resilience. They’re important for our mental health—at any age.
- For youth: Traditions help develop identity and belonging.
- For older generations: Passing down traditions offers purpose and connection to the past.
Perfection Isn’t the Goal
If you’re feeling pressure to create the next greatest family tradition—please don’t. The important thing is the ritual itself, not its perfection. The pie doesn’t have to be exactly the way grandma made it. What matters is that we gather, share stories, and keep the tradition alive in whatever form fits our lives today.
Adapting Traditions
In my own family, we’ve adapted our traditions. With a smaller extended family and my less-than-stellar ability to coordinate a multi-course meal, we’ve combined the traditional holiday dinner with something more informal: homemade pizza.
My kids love pizza far more than turkey or glazed ham and sides that often go uneaten. So presto! We’ve created a new Christmas dinner tradition. It may look different than others’ holiday feasts, but it works for us. We still share stories and laughter as we create our masterpieces on the dough.
This new tradition harkens back to one of my core memories from childhood—pizza nights at my grandparents’ house. Bowls full of toppings and cheese lined the table, and we’d rotate around, building our own pizzas. More than 20 adults and children gathered together, creating everything from plain cheese to fully loaded veggie and meat combos. But those nights weren’t really about the pizza. They were about connection. About laughter. About passing down stories of how they grew up.
That’s what I want to continue sharing with my own family and future generations. We all need a tie to the past and to the people who helped shape who we are.
Your Turn
Heading into the holiday season, can I ask you to do me a favor?
- Remember one of your favorite family traditions or rituals from years gone by.
- If you’re still observing it, keep it going—or adapt it to fit your family as it is now.
- Or maybe it’s time to start a new tradition.