There are 59 million people caring for someone aged 18+ years of age in the US.
Researchers agree that caring for a disabled adult is one of the most stressful and challenging events families can face. This stress is often overwhelming and may have a negative impact on our emotional health and well-being. They may also experience many types of loss:
Relationship and social or recreational interaction with friends, spouse, coworkers, and children. As these relationships change or are lost, caregivers may experience many feelings of isolation.
Roles, identity, and sometimes occupation as the role of caregiver continues.
Control over personal time, freedom, privacy, future plans, and life events.
Well-being, including emotions, such as worry and guilt feelings, concentration, and health issues, such as lack of sleep.
Diminished physical capacity and death of the care receiver.
Identifying these losses is the first step toward understanding these feelings. Caregivers may want to take a moment and reflect about the losses they are experiencing.
There are losses that are not easily identified. Although the care receiver may be physically present, he may be mentally or emotionally absent. He may not be quite the same person that he used to be. These ambiguous losses can trigger complicated reactions with no rituals to guide the caregiver through the grief.
Ways a Caregiver Can Cope with Losses
Talk and express your feelings regarding problems with caregiving. Friends, relatives, counselors, ministers, or support group members can be great listeners.
Schedule time for yourself and maintain your social contacts. Avoid isolating yourself from others. Do not feel guilty for having someone give you a break from your caregiving duties.
Be realistic about your abilities and limitations as a caregiver. You can’t do it alone, so be willing to accept help from others.
Realize you are not alone with your feelings. Many people, including other caregivers, share your concerns and thoughts.
Keep your sense of humor. Remember that laughter can be the best medicine.
Forgive yourself and those around you.
Caregivers may want to take another moment to list the things they can do to cope with their losses. They can also make a list of people they can contact to talk about their losses. To find more resources on caregiving, go online.
Author: Cheri Burcham, Health and Family Educator, Illinois Extension